Self Nurture
You Cannot Pour From an Empty Cup
There's a pervasive belief in our culture that caring for yourself is somehow selfish—that putting your own needs first means you're taking something away from others. But the truth is far different.
Self-nurture isn't self-indulgence. It's the foundation upon which everything else is built.
Think of yourself as a well. When you continuously give without replenishing, the well runs dry. You become depleted, resentful, exhausted. You might still be going through the motions, but there's nothing nourishing left to offer—not to others, and certainly not to yourself. Self-nurture is the practice of tending to your own well. It's recognizing that your physical energy, emotional capacity, and mental clarity are finite resources that need replenishment. It's understanding that caring for yourself isn't something you do ‘instead of’ caring for others—it's what makes caring for others sustainable.
The Oxygen Mask Principle
Every flight attendant delivers the same instruction: secure your own oxygen mask before helping others. This isn't selfishness. It's survival wisdom. When you're depleted, you can't think clearly. You make poor decisions. You lose patience. You become reactive instead of responsive. You might keep pushing through on willpower alone, but you're running on fumes—and eventually, you'll break down. But when you're resourced—when you've slept enough, feed & moved your body, processed your emotions, taken time to breathe & give thanks—you show up differently. You have capacity. You can be present. You can give from overflow rather than depletion.
Building Resilience From the Inside Out
Resilience isn't about toughing it out or pushing through at all costs. Real resilience is built through practices that restore, replenish, and strengthen you over time. Self-nurture is how you build that foundation:
Physical resilience through sleep, nutrition, movement, and rest
Emotional resilience through processing feelings and setting boundaries
Mental resilience through managing your attention and thoughts
Spiritual resilience through connection to something larger than yourself
These aren't luxuries. They're necessities. And they're not one-time achievements—they're ongoing practices that require attention and intention.
Because the world needs you resourced, not depleted. Present, not resentful. Alive, not just surviving.
Inner Child
Checking In With the Younger Parts of Yourself
Many of our present-day struggles aren't actually about what's happening now—they're echoes of old wounds, unmet needs, and patterns formed long ago. When you find yourself overreacting, shutting down, or feeling inexplicably triggered, it's often a younger part of you asking for attention.
Inner child work isn't about dwelling in the past. It's about recognizing that the hurt, scared, or lonely child you once were still lives inside you—and still needs care, comfort, and reassurance. When you learn to meet those needs yourself, you stop unconsciously seeking others to fill them. You become more whole.
This isn't therapy language for therapy's sake. It's a practical framework for understanding why you respond the way you do, and for developing the capacity to nurture yourself through difficult moments.
Reparenting yourself - Meeting the needs that weren't met in childhood; learning to comfort, encourage, and nurture the younger parts of yourself that still subconsciously protect.
Recognizing when your inner child is activated - Understanding triggers, wounds, and patterns formed in childhood that still impact your adult reactions - keep a trigger journal
Play and joy as medicine - Reconnecting with curiosity, creativity, and spontaneity; giving yourself permission for delight - keep a joy journal
Meeting core needs - Safety, belonging, worth, competence - the fundamental needs we all carry from childhood into adulthood
Healing childhood wounds - Working with the parts where you still carry memories of pain and fear
Inner child dialogue practices - Actual talking kindly to the younger parts of yourself
Coming Around the Mountain
When Old Wounds Show Up Again
You thought you'd worked through this. You did the therapy, read the books, had the breakthrough. You processed that childhood wound, healed that relationship pattern, made peace with that old pain. And then it shows up again. Not because you failed. Not because your previous work didn't matter. But because healing isn't linear—it's spiral.
Coming around the mountain is the recognition that we don't heal issues once and for all. We heal them in layers. Each time we circle back, we're not returning to the same place—we're encountering the same issue from a higher vantage point, with more capacity, deeper understanding, and greater resources than we had before.
Think of climbing a mountain on a spiral path. You might pass the same landmark multiple times as you ascend, but each time you're higher up. The view is wider. You can see more clearly. What felt overwhelming at the base of the mountain becomes manageable further up. This is how emotional healing works.
Why the Same Issues Resurface
You're ready for the next layer
The first time you addressed this wound, you handled what you could with the tools and awareness you had then. Now you're stronger, more resourced, and capable of going deeper.
Life brings new triggers
A new relationship, a new loss, a new life stage can activate aspects of old wounds you didn't know were still there. This isn't regression—it's revelation.
You're integrating at a deeper level
Intellectual understanding comes first. Emotional processing comes next. Embodied integration takes even longer. Each pass around the mountain brings you closer to full healing.
Your nervous system needs time
Your body holds trauma and patterns that your mind has already processed. Sometimes you need to revisit issues somatically—through breathwork, movement, or body-based practices—even after you've "understood" them mentally.
A Note on Triggers
When something triggers you, sending a cortisol spike through your being—it really activating a protective response groove—it's information. Your response is showing you where there's still a painbody, where you still need care, where your younger self is asking for attention. Instead of being frustrated that you're triggered, you can be curious: What is this trying to tell me? What limited story is underpinning this reaction?
Coming around the mountain isn't failure. It's the path itself. And each time around, you're closer to the summit—to integration, to peace and presence.
Grounding Yourself Back to Neutral
Healing happens in the gentle return, not the dramatic leap.
Each time you get lost, choose one small way to ground yourself:
A full glass of water with gratitude
Five slow breaths before answering
Saying one sentence to your inner child: I see you. I've got you.
Having a moment of play, no purpose required
These are not indulgences. They are medicine.
Affirmation to carry forward: I am safe enough to feel. I am worthy enough to rest. I am able to rise—again and again.